Today I walked away from a career I spent years building.  Why would somebody give up a solid paycheck, benefits most would dream of, financial security and one hell of a retirement plan?  I don't know either, but it just feels right.  Go ahead and grab a cup of coffee.  This is my story.

 

I'm Dave.  And I was a police officer for 13 years.  

 

Up until this point I have never made much of my "day job"  known (especially on an internet forum), as judgement can all too often be thrown around like a pigskin (yeah, it's a pun) at a Packers vs. Bears game.  The job isn't just chasing speeders, eating donuts and violating peoples civil rights. OK, the occasional civil rights violation is cool.  But let's not talk about that, ok?  Throughout the years of my career, I have taken great pride in the profession and have shunned off much of the macho, manly egos that have surrounded me on a day to day basis.  I have never been about that kind of crap when it comes to the job and as a whole, I have managed to maintain much faith in the general human population, believe it or not.  

 

It wasn't until I was 17, when I was stopped twice in the same week by the SAME cop (both times in my Boy Scout uniform) and was given LARGE speeding tickets which eventually cost me my driver's license... that I knew I wanted to be a cop.  Damn the luck. There I was, looking good for the ladies, donning my Eagle Scout badge, blasting Metallica's "And Justice For All", all awhile completely clueless to the fact that I was doing 60 in 35.  Then one day later, 50 in a 25 zone.  Trust me, I haven't forgotten the deputy's face.  Breaking the news to my Dad was awful.  And then to tell him my license was suspended...  I felt like the world was coming to an end.  But I admired and respected the officer for his professionalism.

 

Let's not be mistaken. The Boy Scout uniform was merely a fluffy illusion.  Throughout my high school days I was never interested in attending classes on a regular basis, becoming involved with school sports or feeling that I need to belong to a clique.  Most of my time was spent as a gear-head, racing motocross, working on my '79 Trans Am in the garage, hanging out with my friends in parking lots and running from the cops.  On more than one occasion, I sucessfully took off from the Wisconsin State Patrol and avoided jail.  Grades weren't important to me either, but I somehow manage to graduate at the last possible chance.  But through it all, my parents kept faith in me and were pleasantly surprised when I decided to pursue a career in law enforcement.

 

Most of the experiences that I've gained while doing the cop gig have helped me develop who I am today.  Confidence, interpersonal skills, patience, and resilience.  Working in law enforcement has been interesting to say the least.  I look fondly on most of my career, but I can clearly acknowledge those specific moments over the years that have changed my life altogether.

 

On August 29th, 2002 my partner and I shot a person, attempting to assault us with a machete in the middle of traffic.  We were sent to locate a person acting suspiciously, flipping off cars and acting...well, oddly.  We had searched the area for awhile, eventually locating a guy standing in his garage with a machete.  The moment he saw us, he walked towards us screaming and waving the knife around over his head.  Needless to say, we backed the fuck off.  He approached my partner's unoccupied squad car parked at the end of a culdasac and attempted to get the .223 rifle out.  Thankfully he failed.  As a result, he sprinted towards us swinging the machete.  My partner and I fired a total of six shots, non-fatally injuring him.  He later told investigators that he was going to kill my partner.  Dude lived and has since been release from prison, minus one testicle.  But we had to deal with months of death threats from the family.  I never carried a gun off-duty and always make it a practice to take it off when I come home to sit at the dinner table.  But this affected my family.

 

Like many times before, time froze for me during the incident.  There are several things from the day (even that week) that I can barely remember now.  To this day though I can distinctly remember telling myself I did NOT wanna kill this guy, repeating it over and over in my mind.  It was the last thing I wanted to do.  The last thing ANY cop wants to do.  As luck would have it, things turned out seemingly well given the situation.  

 

I've seen the worst of the worst, and yet the best the world has to offer, all wrapped up in this crazy package. It's been hard to separate myself from the emotion that creeps up into the job, sometimes on a daily basis.  But I've always been able to work through the negativity with maturity, communication and resolve.  I always seem to rise above the challenges that I have been presented with, to use in a more positive way in my life. Of all the things I have been witness to, I still wrestle with the thought that there may have been a greater plan for it all.  What that is, I have yet to figure out.  All I know is that my time doing this job, has made me value those things in my life which others never have a chance to experience.

 

You see, I've spent my time in the fire.  It's odd, because when I hear other folks complain about their jobs, stress and time away from family, I can't help but think that I have co-authored the book.  Sure there have been some awesome experiences along the way as well.  But now it's my time to re-invent myself and start a new life for my family.  

 

Once a photographer asked me, "Why do you wanna do this job? Are you crazy?"  My reply, "Well numbnuts, I prefer to shoot people with a camera." I thought to myself, "why the hell this person is a photographer, is beyond me.  Go punch a time clock, homie."  See, I don't really buy into that shit.  To me, it sounds a bit disgruntled.  Like the life-sucking night shifters at the 'ol cop shop, that had nothing better to do than bitch about everything under the sun.  I've been through the same feelings as most people though, and have even told others the same when starting out as a cop.  But I would later come to the realization that every person has their own strengths and weaknesses.  It's hard enough to put your finger on what plucks your heartstrings, but it's even harder to take them into your own hands and make music.  To make something functional of your true passions.  And to take a risk to find personal happiness and lifelong fulfillment.  That's where I am at now.

 

I've spent the last two years of my life pulling quad-duty.  Dad by day, cop by evening, businessman by night, and photographer/husband whenever the hell I could find some time. What an odd mix, huh?  I would work six days on, three off.  All 2pm to 10pm shifts.  My wife Melanie works mornings teaching high school math, so the mornings would be my time to spend with my girls, now 1 and 4 years old.....with our third on the way.  I've joked with Melanie that it's like we have been single parents for the past four years, seeing each other in passing.  

 

If I wasn't forced to stay late on involuntary over-time (three or more times a week) I'd manage to squeak in three or four more hours of business time after work to edit shoots, reply to emails and for all intents and purposes... to keep my head above water.  On my three days off, I would handle anywhere from two to five photo shoots and manage my business.  Vacation time you ask?  I used it all to shoot 18 weddings this year.  I have to say, Melanie has been a huge help and a bigger inspiration to me during this time too.  She handles all the books, finances, contracts, etc.  Without her, I would not be writing this.

 

Trust me, I have made my mistakes and by no means do I claim to be perfect.  That's what this has all been about; a process of learning.  I'm still new to this business world.  Sure I've dropped the ball a few times, made a few promises I couldn't fulfill, procrastinated and even lost a a client or two along with way.  But in the end,  I have been able to grab ahold of those things that didn't work out well and turn them into something better for the future.  

 

Nonetheless. we have planned and planned, until it felt like we couldn't be any more secure in this transition.  Then we planned some more.  I've done what I needed to do, to land with both feet on the ground.  Through a means of solid financial planning, a progressive business approach, years of developing my shooting style and the ability to market myself appropriately, I have laid a solid path for my business and my family's future.  My business has earned more income on part-time basis this past year, than I have working full-time as a cop.  I've been very blessed to this end.  

 

To date, I have a few dozen weddings and shit-pile of other shoots under my belt over the past two years.  I currently have two assistants working under me and have now booked more than 20 weddings in 2008.  I've booked two separate promotional campaigns for a private Catholic college in Dubuque, Iowa, which were booked off one small senior portrait shoot.  In my wildest dreams, I would never have thought I would be where I am today.  I would I have never thought that I could book a wedding for $5000.  But somehow I have managed to do so.  $300 to $5000? Who would have thought I would be leaving my cop job to pursue a personal hobby, turned career.   I'll take it.  And as far as I can see, it's beats working the streets.

 

And for the record, I really don't mind the occasional donut.  I guess that's why I have a weekly running routine.

 

I'm Dave.  And I had a photography hobby that turned serious.

 

Sometime around 2000 I stumbled into the photography thing quite oddly enough, while running the (now defunct) Midwestern online music magazine, The eKo.  My friend Keith and I were graced with many photo passes as an add-on to our press credentials while doing artist interviews.  It was the film point 'n shoot days for me.  All I knew was how to push "the button".  I was always frustrated that my photos looked like snapshots and knew that I wanted something more.  It was a short time later that I by chance found the Paper Brigade (www.paperbrigade.com) while trying to find inspiration for my feeble graphic design attempts.  It was my very first introduction into the world underground photography and web forums as a whole.  I just began to kinda soak up the resources, photo techniques and online relationships I made there.  It was four years ago or more that fell in love with some of the work I saw, but was afraid to ever show so much as one of my crappy photo attempts.  I was awestruck by some the young upstart photographers such as James Davis, Jason Messer, Jeremy Weiss, Bryan Sheffield, Zack Arias, Brandon Merkel, Nathan Baker, Rennie Solis, and Rob Dobi, amongst several others, several of which are now good friends of mine.

 

It was through those relationships I made on that board and by process of learning through trial and error, that I began to develop my own style of shooting. It was an awkward (sorta puberty-ish type) process, but I began to feel it over time.  I was finally able to muster up enough courage to send an email to one of the above photographers, asking a few simple questions.  Zack Arias had enough passion for his own work and that of helping others, that he gave of himself to lend me some simple advice.  He had enough fortitude to talk to me honestly and answer my questions without a hint of ego.  To this day, that has made a lasting impression on me and I have since, always responded to those that ask me for similar advice or to say, "hey, I love your work."  As I see it, we're all here to share or at least to say, "thanks!"  Regardless of how busy we may be...

 

In all actuality, I've never taken so much as one photography class in my life.  I began by shooting film and studying the basics of light.  My first camera was my Dad's Mamiya 1000DTL 35mm that he purchased while he was in the Philippines in 1968.  Yeah, batteries were almost impossible to find and I had no light meter, but the camera worked.  After time, I went through several Canon film bodies (Rebel, EOS-1n, EOS-3) and hundreds of rolls of film before I ever picked up a digital camera.   The learning curve was steep, but in all honesty I don't think I would be half as good as I am today, without learning the basics first.  I dragged a camera with me everywhere.  My wife hated it.  But I stayed with it.  

 

Then the thought of shooting weddings came to mind.  "Weddings?  WTF? You gotta be kidding me!  No. Way."   What the hell!  I reluctantly gave in.  In 2004 I shot two weddings.  One for some friends of mine and the other as a referral from our strange babysitter.  I charged $300 each and wanted the money to buy a used Canon D30.  Sweet ever-lovin' digital technology at a blazing 3.2 megapixels!  The first wedding was weird.  Even though I knew Jon and Leah, the shots turned out as unusual as her wedding dress looked.  The second wedding was six months later.    Yeah, about that...  I went into it thinking I had to shoot it the same way I perceived every other photographer shoots a wedding in northeast Wisconsin.  Fake, cheesy, and loaded with 80's glitz.  Let's just say they got an annulment three days after the wedding and to this day, have refused to take delivery of the images.  Off to a great start with crappy wedding photos, I walked away telling myself I would never shoot another wedding as long as I lived.  

 

I maintained that standpoint for some time.  I wanted nothing to do with it.  Ever.  I was feeling as if a career in photography was seemingly impossible, believing I would never be able to break free from the cop mold to follow my heart.  That all soon changed.  

 

I was asked to shoot a wedding for a co-worker's sister the following year.  I was gun-shy to say the least, but reluctantly agreed.  Going into the wedding, I knew I had to do something different.  Weddings seemed far too contrived for me to believe that I could do them my own way.  After searching the internet and finding inspiration in some other wedding photographer's work (some of whom still post here on this board, but will remain nameless), I realized I could put my own twist on it.  The results blew me away.  I was in love.  Sara and Kirk's wedding opened my doors wide open, eventually leading me to build a whole new portfolio.  

 

It's like I've taken small bits and pieces from my inspirations along the way, and mashed them all together to find out what works for me. I've had the moments of finding those awesome photographers, who use the latest techniques to make their photos look all cool and trendy. From time to time I may have even told myself that I wanted to shoot just like them .  But in reality, I'm glad I don't.  My style is still evolving into something I can uniquely call my own.  At times I feel like I'm worlds away from reaching that goal, but I continually remind myself that this is a learning process in which I have a lot of room to grow.  I think we all do.